i don't like sucking hair
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
