last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
