Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
