Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
