hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
