just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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