a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
