this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
