Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
