My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
