I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
