i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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