Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
