after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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