As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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