I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize