I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
