We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
