Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
