Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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