I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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