I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
