I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
should my penis look like a turkey
My vagina just recognized that song.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Two words: nipple clamps
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