Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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