if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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