The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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