i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm both gender and math confused
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
