three words: i give head
three words: not that well
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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