I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
