did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
