Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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