i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
