Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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