You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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