Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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