My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
