2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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