I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
