Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
