I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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