More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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