you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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