do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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