I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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