my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
