I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
