Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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