So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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