You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
