I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
