i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
