Me too!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
