this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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